I'm thankful for...

It's Thanksgiving.. I guess I'm thankful.. for family,friends and all the good stuff.. 28 years I've walked this Earth and I've learnt that a lot of what I am today has to do with where I came from.

When I was younger, I used to think that life wasn't all that good, going to school wasn't all that fun, being competitive was not my thing, in short, I wasn't too proud of where I came from. As a part of growing up, I've realized that I was so wrong, in so many ways. I know today that I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I'm thankful today that I know who my real parents are, that I have a sister who I get along with, that I've never had to resort to addiction to get over my problems, that I respect my parents as much as I did 4 years ago when I left India to live the American Dream, that I always put education before everything else, that I was by my Dad's side when it counted, that I had the strength to make it through this long and bumpy 2009, that I proved to myself what I am capable of doing, that I took some calculated risks that paid off, that I knew the pecking order of my priorities all along.

Though this has tons to do with how I was brought up, I think it has a lot to do with where I came from and the values that were instilled in me. I always tend to complain about my country but I know today that being born in India was the best thing that could have happened to me. It paved the way for great things and will continue to do so... It's always where you come from..

28

When I was 20, our family numerologist(that explains the extra A in my last name) informed me that 28 is a bad number for me. The family astrologist, on the other hand, said 28 was going to be the best damn year of my life.

On December 1st this year, I turn 28 [go on, crack a few jokes about how old I am :(] - I don't care much for fortune-tellers, nobody could have predicated how the year 2009 was going to be for me. That being said - I plan to make this 28th year the best of many more years to come - I made this promise to myself when my Dad left us in May this year.

It is miraculous how a tragic incident in your life can turn your attitude around - it surely did change mine in a big big way. I have never been more calm - with this whole experience I realized that life is too precious to just waste away, that every day counts and that there is no point in bearing grudges against people/situations. It is all transitory - it helps to never lose the bigger picture. In my case, I've always had to wait longer than most others, for the good times... I've complained about it, a lot.. in the long run, I know that God gives troubles to those who he knows can handle them and persevere. The one thing I've realized this year is that I need to give myself a little more credit, even if others don't. The people that know me really well, know what I'm made of and what I'm capable of doing. I got some of my Dad's best traits and that is probably why I got anywhere in my life.

Although I won't celebrate my birthday this year - I know it will be special in a way.

28 - will be the best damn year of my life... I just know it!

Even worse!

I threw Darts this week.. again... and did much worse.. down to 0.67.. but we won 7 games out of 13 - so basically we won - and one of those games was my win!

Way down there

Dart standings as of last week .. Yeah, I know, not anything to boast about.. But likely I will throw this week, so watch the 'Most Improved Players' section!!!

Should just shut up...

Darts - Lessons Learned

I am a substitute Darts player for my Darts team at work and on the following Thursday, I will get the opportunity to participate in my first game in this years' league. Last Thursday, I spent some time practicing with my team and the single most important tip I got was to 'Follow Through' once the dart leaves your fingers.

Incidentally, 'Follow through' is good advice for life in general. We often take decisions we don't feel too secure about and wonder if we should give up or feel like we should never have gotten into this. Sometimes, if you follow through, your odds of hitting the target increase proportionately. Although,even if you follow through, it is important that you are looking where you want your dart to hit the board. So, knowing your target is vital too.

Just like in life, hastiness in dart-throwing doesn't help either.

My Biking Fiasco

I went biking on Sunday morning to Rock Cut State Park. This involved being up at 6 a.m. - never fun on Sundays. I made it to the rendezvous point at 7 a.m. Only 2 out of 5 of us showed up. I was one of them. This meant that I had to compete against my biking partner, B (who is atleast twice as old as I am and twice as fast. Do the math. )

We headed out - the first two miles were a breeze (for him, not me). This was like a warm-up session before the trail started. Right around the first mile of the "actual" trail (4 miles total) -B said 'Here comes the first big hill.' Now right when he said this, it was as if all the energy was sucked out of me. This kind of heads-up never works for me. Needless to say, I didn't make it up this "first big hill" without getting off the bike. I could see B in the distance, waiting for me to catch up - if at all that was an option. Personally, I thought it wasn't.

When I finally made it to where he was waiting for me (still on the bike), I figured I shouldn't ruin this for him. I asked him to continue and said I would find my way back. Right when I said this, I could never have imagined that 'finding my way back' was going to be the toughest part of my day. Well ... it was. I headed back on the bike trail by myself.

Since I was alone this time, I slowed down and looked around at the trees on either side of the trail. There were bugs and small animals, been a while since I appreciated Nature this way. Strange as it may seem, I did not notice any of this when I was riding this trail the first time. I did not notice that we had crossed close to 5 bridges and that there were some homes on one side of the trail. Now since I did not notice these the first time, I figured I must be lost. I told myself, no need to panic. But there was nobody around. Atleast I had my phone, but even if I called someone, how could they possibly figure out where I was. B didn't bring his phone with him btw so that didn't work out for me either. Each time that I was confronted by two roads (diverging in the yellow wood), I had to make a choice. Just like the poem. This was an interesting experience. Soon after, I encountered two ladies enjoying their morning walk on the trail, and asked them if I was heading back to the 'right' place. Apparently I was! Looks like for once I made all the right choices :)

I waited for B's return, this wasn't much later - what with me being lost and everything. This experience taught me that I should never bike with B again for one thing. More importantly, that biking alone is not all that bad if you eventually find your way back.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Life... after the run

My shin splints are finally better - well they would be, considering that I haven't exercised in 2 weeks. That also implies I have gained a few pounds. Rockford is getting cooler now, but I do love Fall so I am not complaining.

Several times, I think about the run - and the bigger message in all of this. When Dad was still around, he would ask me about my lifestyle - are you getting any exercise? My answer always was - "nope, do not have enough time". All of a sudden, I have a heightened realization of how I entirely ignore my health. This is probably not how I should have learned, but I guess I finally have. And better late than never, as most would say.

Surprisingly, I do like running - I never thought I would. I keep thinking all of these little things are a part of a bigger plan and a larger purpose. Maybe I am becoming more 'spiritually aware' too, but sometimes it brings me down. I do not always agree with what has been put down in Hindu scriptures.

Life after the run ... has been very different, like something is missing. Maybe I need a new goal of some sort, not spend each day as it comes or live in the moment. Big big conflict of ideas in my head right now.... Hopefully I'll be able to make sense of all this.... but it better be soon....